Are you a window or an aisle person? What about the bulkhead? Some people have strong preferences for the ‘poor man’s business/first class’ (aka the exit row). Well, if you’re a two-parent, one-lap-infant family, you can say goodbye to the exit row for quite a while and embrace the ultimate sacrifice—the middle seat.
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Once again, this is all about managing the things you can control (such as seat selection) to better prepare yourself and remain calmer for all the other unexpected situations that may arise, which you can’t control. It’s not as daunting as it may seem, I assure you! Plus, there are two fantastic (and free) tools available to assist you.
Aerolopa – the seat map tool of champions (seatguru is dead…no, really)
First, let me introduce you to one of my favorite internet destinations: Aerolopa. If you’re a fellow analogue millennial or older, you’ve probably used or heard of SeatGuru. Well, like many things, it should be relegated to the Way Back Machine part of the internet because it hasn’t been updated in years. It’s now dead and gone as a useful tool. Take a moment to inform your older relatives, and let’s all pour one out together in memory of those yellow and red seats. Good? Good.
Now, here’s the good news! Aerolopa is approximately a billion times better (a scientifically estimated figure) than SeatGuru ever was, hands down. So, what is it? LOPA stands for Layout of Passenger Accommodations, which is a self-important industry term that essentially means cabin layout. Hopefully, the ‘Aero’ part is self-explanatory. It’s amazing because it’s clear, accurate, and covers a wide range of airlines and their specific plane types. This will prevent you from assuming you’ll be sitting close together in row 9 with an aisle in between, only to realize upon boarding that it’s staggered, and you can’t communicate because the middle row 9 seats are actually closer to the row 10 side seats. It’s also incredibly helpful when selecting the best business class configuration if you choose that option, as the new products focus on privacy. This is fantastic if you’re (a) traveling alone or (b) not particularly fond of your travel companions, but it can be quite annoying if you don’t fall into either of those categories. Don’t forget to read the notes section; it’s genuinely useful. If you’re anything like me, you’ll find yourself clicking on random airlines just to check out their layouts and start dreaming of new adventures. I get genuinely excited when I see a 3-3-3 layout on a 777 because it means that economy might not be miserably tight, and they are becoming increasingly rare.
Now that you know what Aerolopa is and how to access it, let’s delve into the art of seat selection. I’m assuming this isn’t a last-minute purchase, and you have some decisions to make since securing the last seats on the plane requires a whole different strategy.
Seat selection step by step.
I hope that the following outline, in conjunction with your Aerolopa research, will simplify your seat selection decisions, especially because it’s a much bigger minefield than in your pre-kid travel days.
Identify your airline and aircraft for each leg of your chosen itinerary. This step may seem obvious if you’re booking through a specific airline’s website, but be aware of codeshare flights. Once you’ve selected your flight itinerary and found a price that suits you, determine which airline and aircraft are scheduled for your chosen flights. If you have a connecting flight outside the US, particularly with a non-US-based airline, it’s likely a codeshare flight, and you should look up that carrier on Aerolopa. In many cases, you won’t be able to select seats on codeshare flights (see below), but there are exceptions, so it’s best to be prepared.
Check the cabin layout on Aerolopa. If you have the option to select seats before making your purchase, examine the seat map provided on the airline’s website and then refer to Aerolopa to find the matching layout. Some airlines have multiple subtypes of the same aircraft with varying seating arrangements, so it’s important to verify. Keep an eye out for seats with misaligned windows (meaning no windows) if you anticipate needing a few minutes of peace at the window. Additionally, avoid selecting seats very close to the kitchen areas, especially if you’re on an overnight flight, as the lights and noise may disturb slightly older children. Bear in mind that seat preferences can change as your child grows, so your strategy may need to adapt accordingly. If you find that the seat map indicates the flight is fully booked and there are no available seats together, I strongly recommend exploring alternative itineraries if possible. While relying on the kindness of strangers can be an option, it’s not always ideal in today’s world, though sometimes it’s unavoidable.
Utilize ExpertFlyer as another valuable tool in your toolkit. If you can’t select seats before purchasing, haven’t seen a seat map, and are unsure about the flight’s occupancy, ExpertFlyer can assist you. Visit expertflyer.com and sign up for a free account. While ExpertFlyer offers more advanced features, for the purpose of viewing a seat map, a free account is sufficient. The website may not have the most user-friendly interface, but with a free account, you can access the seat alert feature, which is all you need to view your flight’s seat map. Navigate to ‘Create Alert,’ input your flight details and class, and click ‘Search.’ You can also set a limited number of seat alerts with the free account. If you find yourself in situations where there are ‘no good seats’ or ‘no seats together,’ as outlined in point 2 above, you can set alerts for the seats you desire. You’ll receive an email notification if seats matching your saved criteria become available. This feature is quite handy, right? A seat map will appear, displaying the current seat availability, including which seats can be selected for free and which require a fee. However, it’s essential to use this map in conjunction with Aerolopa to choose the best available free seats, as ExpertFlyer is linked to SeatGuru, which, as mentioned before, is no longer a reliable resource.
Modern day monetary pitfall of seat selection fees.
Suck up the fees (if any) to make sure you get the best seats for your journey. So, now you have picked your ideal seats to set you and your family up for travel success and you click on it and…you see a fee. Curses! First, call the airline (even if this takes hours which it might if you don’t have status) and see if you can get seat assignments for free if you have a lap infant or are buying a seat for your infant. Most of the time airlines block the bassinet seats for families with a lap infant. If they are going to charge you anyways, this is one reason why striving for status that allows you to select seats for free is probably still a worthwhile endeavor on your airline of choice. I know airline fees feels like death by a thousand cuts, because it is, but may I strongly recommend you budget for this/suck it up and just pay the fees to ensure you are seated together and in the seats you want to be in. Again, this is something in your control so do it. I also highly recommend not buying basic economy for this reason as well unless you really don’t have another choice budget wise.
Keep an eye on your reservation in case there is an equipment swap.
You’ve gone through all the steps outlined above, secured the perfect seats on your dream Boeing 777, and your flight is set to depart in five months. Everything seems to be in order, right? Possibly. If you heed this crucial piece of advice, you’ll be prepared for when your aircraft is changed from a 777 to a 787, causing your seat assignments to be relocated due to differing cabin layouts. Certain airlines are more notorious for this than others, but all airlines have the capacity to change your aircraft type (except Southwest, as they exclusively operate one aircraft type, although seat selection isn’t available). The likelihood of this happening increases the farther in advance you book your tickets. Therefore, it’s highly recommended to periodically check your reservation to ensure your seat assignments remain unchanged. Airlines have a tendency to charge for services like seat assignments and then inform you that they aren’t actually guaranteed. It’s frustrating, but being forewarned is being forearmed. While most of the time everything will go smoothly, it’s wise to monitor your reservation to prevent any unexpected seat changes. If you do experience a change, especially if you were planning to use a bassinet, contact the airline immediately to resolve the issue.
Wait, I can't find where to pick seats! Help!
Sometimes, when dealing with foreign carriers, you won’t have the option to select your seats, and in such cases, you might wonder what to do. The answer may not be what you’re expecting, but I pretty much leave it up to fate, and surprisingly, it has worked out just fine. Generally, if you’re on the same itinerary, you’ll be seated together. You can always visit your connecting gate and speak with someone to resolve any seating concerns, although I’ve personally never had to do this. In the case of lap infants, foreign carriers often block the middle seat for you on shorter flights to provide more space, unless they’re fully booked. Once you venture beyond U.S. carriers, you quickly discover how much more accommodating the rest of the world is when it comes to traveling with families. While I can’t speak for African carriers (since Bear hasn’t traveled there yet), Asian carriers, for instance, are significantly more family-friendly. Even British Airways, known for charging for water and tightly packing seats, still blocks middle seats for families with lap infants when flights aren’t fully occupied! United did this for us only once out of nearly 100 flights during those first two years. It was on a flight from Aspen, and I still have fond memories of that gate agent. While it’s not guaranteed outside the U.S., you’re far more likely to have some breathing room if the flight isn’t fully booked.
What worked best for us in the lap infant days.
Bulkhead seating, at all costs! Our United status grants us this seating without additional charges, but even on longer flights, we’d be willing to pay for it if necessary. I have a love/hate relationship with bulkhead economy seating because, on most international flights (especially on widebody aircraft in my experience), you’re not allowed to keep any bags with you, and you must creatively stash supplies wherever you can find space or hide them. It can be quite a hassle, but that’s why you organized yourself in the airport lounge and boarded early, right? This situation becomes even more absurd when your child discovers that a bottle contains the elixir of life and starts crying the moment they spot one. You then have to figure out how to hide it from them, but that’s a topic for another article.
Life is all about trade-offs, and I’m not here to sell you on why we were staunch advocates of bulkhead seating during this time, but the answer is simple: space. Glorious, glorious space, and the two barriers that helped us contain him (the bulkhead and the side of the plane). If you’re using a bassinet, you’re confined to wherever the airline has installed the hardware for them (usually at the bulkhead but not always by the windows). However, when Bear outgrew the bassinet, our preferred choice every time was a middle and window bulkhead seat. What did we do with that extra space? We spread out a blanket (optional) and let him play on the floor, allowing him to move around freely, with no one sitting in front of us to disturb. He spent hours happily playing with the little blue plastic cups that United serves beverages in. I mean, we had other toys for him, but, as they say, the best things in life are free.
What works best for us now in economy.
Honestly, we’re still firmly on the bulkhead wagon, but I’m eagerly awaiting the chance to jump off. These days, I really despise not having all our belongings with us since we have to rotate activities seemingly every five minutes. However, the extra space and the absence of a seat to kick in front of us are truly wonderful. Now, we can occupy an entire row most of the time. In a 2-2 seat layout situation, I’ve found that the bulkhead works best for us, with one parent in the aisle, the child by the window, and the other parent in the row behind the child. This way, if our child stands up in his seat and turns around, there’s another human who is naturally predisposed by biology to find him irresistibly cute, ready to make steady eye contact and retrieve all the toys that are dropped or intentionally tossed over. I don’t know why, but before I had a child, I always felt deeply uncomfortable when a random kid stared at me over the back of a plane seat or from the booth in a restaurant or something. Was that just me? Is it something I shouldn’t admit? I was never particularly drawn to kids, but I could gaze at my own child all day long. So, sitting behind him means someone else doesn’t have to feel awkward. I can’t be the only one who’s had that experience, right?